


I Lost You

by GinnyBadWolf



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, Flashback, past relationship, yeah this is emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:26:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6023518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyBadWolf/pseuds/GinnyBadWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kimball and Felix were in a secret romantic relationship before Felix's betrayal. So now, in my imagined death scene for Felix, sometime in Season 13, Kimball is getting... closure. Yeah, that's the word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Lost You

Felix stood on the bridge, looking over the Rebel and Federal Army of Chorus triumphantly. They were all on their knees, hands in the air and guns on the ground, with his team of snipers and soldiers all aiming their weapons at their heads. He smirked. That suit of armor would be his.

And so, he began the 'ceremony'. 

He called out, "Let's bring up your darling leader, Kimball. She'll be the first to die." He tried to get rid of the sick feeling that filled his stomach when he said that, but no matter how hard he tried it wouldn't. 

He watched as two guards grabbed her out out of the crowd and pulled her up, trying to drag her along but she ripped herself out of their grasps. They raised their guns towards her, and Felix felt the instinctual need to shield her from them. She looked at them, and stated defiantly, "I can walk on my own, thank you very much." As they reached for her arms again, she started to walk away and out of their reach towards the bridge where Felix stood, his confidence failing.

She came up the side and approached him, showing no sign of fear. "Felix." she said reservedly. He tried not to look at her, but to instead face the crowd. It would be easier that way. What made it harder was when she took off her helmet, taking out her long brown braid and shaking it out before staring defiantly at him. He found it hard to keep his eyes away from her chestnut brown ones, and found it harder to suppress the forbidden feelings that had risen up, but he found the part of himself that was similar to Locus: unfeeling, unmerciful, a weapon. He looked to the crowd of people at his mercy once again.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen gathered here today," he began sarcastically, pointedly ignoring the aura of discomfort radiating from inside. "To the end of Chorus! It's my pleasure to have you here, it really is, but I'm afraid the party is going to be a rather short one," he breathed, filling his words with all the snark he could muster, "But don't worry! Everyone gets to take part in our wonderful schedule tonight. I was hoping, as your leader, Miss Kimball could demonstrate what the rest of us are going to be doing this evening." He contained a flinch as he raised a gun to Vanessa's face, but he was unable to control the slight tremor of his hand as he gazed upon her features, absolutely beautiful in every way, even down to the slowly bleeding wound above her eyebrow, a souvenir of the battle she had just been through.

He could almost feel Locus' frown from behind his right shoulder; he was taking too long to just shoot, like anyone else might have done by now. His finger tightened on the trigger slightly, but he released it immediately upon hearing her voice: "I don't think you want to do that, Felix." Her determined expression flamed in her eyes, burning a hole through Felix's facade and staring face to face with the truth. His resolve faltered and died, his gun shakily falling to his side. He could hear the stifled gasps that echoed through the hall they were all standing in. 

To his right, Locus growled, "Stick to protocol, Felix. Kill her." Felix disregarded him as Vanessa leaned in slightly and whispered to him.

"Remember the day you told me you loved me?"

Felix couldn't help the flashback that had come onto him unwillingly.

They were sitting on the dock in the cave after a hard loss on the rebel side. Vanessa had taken off her helmet, and so had he, and they held them at their sides as they talked exhaustedly. Vanessa was despairing.

"An entire two days fighting - hundreds of men lost - our supplies wasted - all for this? For a loss that, in time, could cause us to lose this war? I can't lost this, Felix. I have lost my friends, my family, and my home for this. I can't lose my freedom, too. Not again." Felix stayed silent for a while, losing a war against himself.

It was his fault that Vanessa was feeling this way - he had caused mayhem and destruction all throughout the rebel forces. For him and Locus, this was a definite victory. And yet, it felt like a destructive loss, all because she said it was. How could it?

When all you've been doing is pretending, how can something like this be so real? He had pretended to be on her side, pretending to hate Locus, pretended that Vanessa was somebody that he cared about and wanted to protect, and the latter had become something that was real.

How?

How had he strayed so far from protocol? From the boundaries he had made for himself? He was in a situation beyond rational thinking, beyond anybody like Locus would have ever let happen. Locus was a weapon, a soldier. And though Felix didn't care for that, the fact that he wasn't a weapon was about to ruin this entire mission. What Locus would say, now. For letting himself trust somebody, the mission would be ruined. What he would have said before he had gotten into this mess. Because of one Vanessa Kimball, his most important mission yet would be completely, utterly ruined.

He turned to look at her. She... she was so beautiful.

Her hair was always in a messy brown braid that was put to the side. Her chestnut eyes were big and determined, and it looked as if a fire was forever burning in their depths; a fire that refused to go out. Her skin was tan and smooth, her lips were full and pink, her features were almost elven and looked so unimaginably beautiful. He couldn't believe he was thinking these things, but he was.

Ah, to hell with Locus. To hell with boundaries. To hell with protocol. He was in fucking love.

Careful to keep his voice steady and serious. "We've had hard losses. I've lost so much, and God knows you've lost so much. But now that I think about it, it's not all that important. Because I've lost everything but you." And with that, he let his helmet sit on the dock as he leaned down towards her and let his lips crash upon hers, one armored arm wrapping around her back as he pulled her closer. She looped her arms around his neck and kissed him with a ferocity that could have only belonged to her. He put the other and on the back of her head, in her hair. The bulky armor could have made it uncomfortable and awkward, but the pieces slid and fit together so that they were as close as possible.

Felix felt a fire burning in his stomach, growing hotter and hotter as they continued the kiss until he was burning up. He wished that they could continue forever, but as he slowly opened his eyes and pulled apart, he gazed at her. God, he loved her. She rested her head on his chest and scooted closer to him so that he was holding her wrapped in his arms. "Vanessa, I love you." 

And then she whispered so softly, it was almost like a sigh instead of a sentence. "I love you too."

He was sucked back to the present, staring hardly at her with such intensity he felt he could have flattened a thousand mountains. She spoke again. This time, her voice was harder and colder, with a little edge to it. "And the day I found out you lied to me?" This time, the memory came without a second thought. 

As he flung the teleport grenade to the ground, he felt a huge sense of devastation. 

Vanessa...

She would hate him.

She would totally fucking hate him.

He had lied to her about what side he was on, sabotaged the thing she had worked so hard for, had practically lived for, had destroyed her hopes and dreams for money. For fucking money! He wanted to throw something. She was so much more important than any payoff now.

All those things he had said about her to Tucker, too. He hadn't meant to drive her away - he had been tense, because those stupid Reds and Blues had gotten in the way again, and Locus was hanging around, and Vanessa could be killed in Armonia if she wasn't careful. And he had said those things because he couldn't let anybody suspect what he felt for her - if they did, where would he be then?

And she had, of course, heard him.

He loved her way too fucking much for this to happen. 

But there was still the stupid, shitty protocol.

Damn protocol!

He knew that if he ever tried to make it up to her, she would try to kill him, and he would be in danger of losing his money, his partner, or hell, his life! It would be safer just to let his statement stand. To put up his boundaries again, to listen to what Locus said, to keep the mission on mind and nothing else. He was to be a soldier. And if he wanted to do that, the only place Vanessa could have in that pictures was leading the enemy army: another opponent to be eliminated.

And so he resolved to keep her away - maybe keep her alive, if possible, but his duty as a soldier came first, now. No more mistakes like her. He could lose her... right?

And as he came back to the present, staring at her face, he knew he was wrong. He could not lose her.

His hand came up to undo the latch on his helmet, which he took off slowly and dropped to the floor. His other one came up to her cheek and held her, loving. "I can't lose you, Vanessa." And though everybody was watching, every single person on the planet, he leaned in and kissed her.

Oh god, he could not lose her again.

She was kissing him, and one of her arms was snaking under his arm and up his back, she was kissing him, and he had missed this, and Vanessa, oh god how he loved her, and her hand on his back was moving backwards in a curious way, and... oh no.

In the background, he heard Tucker scream "NOW!" and heard several bullets flew through the air, his guards were overpowered, and Locus backing up all at the same time. And as he was about to pull away, a stinging, burning, terrible pain seared through his back, a knife impaled in the place between pieces of armor, placed there by the one he loved the most. And Vanessa pulled away as the gun dropped from his weak grasp, her face contorted with hatred and anger.

She began to talk. "You're a liar. I thought I had lost everything but you, but now I realize I never had you. But you had me completely. And you know what else I realize? I was so fully in love with the idea of you, the idea that you were a heroic, strong, determined man that loved me that I didn't even realize that the real you was somebody I would despise. So now how does it feel, Felix, to know that the person you love hates you?" She twisted the knife in his back, her voice like venom as his knees weakened and he started to slide from her grasp, her leaning over him as she spat the words in his face. "How does it feel to know that you've lost everything, and now even me? It feels like shit. I would know. And for me, to see the man - no, wait, the idea - I loved replaced by a vicious -" she twisted the knife and he gave a grunt of pain - "Greedy - evil - pig is just shit like you wouldn't believe. So now that the man I love is dead, I want revenge on his murderer. You. So, Felix, you've lost everything and me. And now you're going to lose your life."

He managed to breath out one small excuse. "Vanessa - you know that I - love you. I - just - didn't realize - that I would. And - I wasn't allowed - to love anything - for the - mission. So - I wanted to - stay, but - I couldn't."

She looked him in the eye, gaze full of poison, and whispered to him. "But love wasn't enough for you to just give up the fucking mission?" And she dug the blade in a little farther, resulting in him falling to his knees, her still holding him up and leaning over him. He heard Locus yelling in the background as a blurry battle raged around them.

He breathed, "Vanessa..." She gave him a kiss on the cheek before locking eyes with him again. Her pair narrowed, and she shook her head. She ripped the knife out of his back. The last words he ever heard were spat over his body as the love of his life released him, letting him fall to the ground. "Good riddance."


End file.
